Starting my journey…..
Every morning as I get ready for work I look in the mirror and wonder who is that person. I almost don’t recognize her. It’s funny that in my mind I can see who I am and what I want to be, but I just can’t seem to make it happen. She is hiding under so many layers of stress, managing things by herself, always feeling responsible and rarely asking for help. The last one is huge because it’s ok to ask for help and also realizing you do not always need to handle everything alone.
I have recently started meditating and doing Reiki energy before bed. The last 3 nights have been amazing for sleep. I don’t even realize I have fallen asleep and the next thing I hear my alarm going off. Completely turning off all the mind chatter before bed has made a big difference with sleep. The energy work has been different. I have found that I get upset faster and sometimes really mad. I have not figured out yet if it is the negative energy leaving me or fighting to keep its hold on me. I will continue this process as I feel it is working. I know whenever something dark gets a hold of you it will fight with everything it has to keep it. You just need to stay strong and push through as I know in my heart there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I still worry about my sweet Willow, sometimes I think I worry too much. I am in a whole new world with having a cat. I grew up my whole life with dogs. She grabbed me the moment I saw her face and she has never let go. I know she has me wrapped around her little paw and I am perfectly fine with that. She brings me peace and so much love.
I have mastered food prep, but after all these years if I am being honest there are days I am tired of doing it. I just wonder when will it be over and I can just enjoy life and not have to worry about food. I have enough to worry about and in my mind this area should be easy.
I know this is the beginning of the journey and right now if feels low, dark and the road seems way to long, but I won’t give up and I will move forward as I know I have people around me who love and care about me. I know that I have spirits of loved ones around me and my spirit animal that protects me.
I keep telling myself one day at a time and before I know it the view will be much brighter.